State of the Uterus

It has been awhile since I have updated friends and family of our hardest DIY project to date.  While other posts with this matter have been fairly easy to write, this one, for some reason or another, has been hard.  And I’m not exactly sure why.

The last time I had an update, we had found out our first IUI procedure had failed.  Since then we have gone through the process of two more IUI procedures with no positive pregnancy test.  It has been two weeks since we found out our third procedure wasn’t going to have a positive result for us.  That day was a really hard day for us.  We were so hopeful and those hopes were dashed.

With each procedure there were shots and pills that made me mildly irritable.  Each shot was carefully timed.  One shot had to be taken at 3am.  Yep.  You read that right.  My dear husband woke up in the middle of the night to administer the shot.  #husbandoftheyear

And with all of the medication my body responded very well.  So well, that the nurse told me that with how well my body responded we were at a risk for multiples.  MULTIPLES.  My hope, my prayer was that with this good news we would have positive results.

But now we’re back to square one.

We’re tired.

We’ve spent a lot of money.

And, frankly, we just want to meet our baby.  Wherever he or she is.

We are taking the next few months to discern what God wants us to do next.  After we found out our third IUI procedure didn’t yield the results we wanted, we sat down and talked.  And, yes, there were tears.  But it was after this conversation that I realized again how incredible of a partner I have in Adam.  While we have an incredible desire to become parents, we have been partners first.  Our marriage needs to be our true focus again.

Which leads me to my next item:

I want to take this time to thank you.
And I mean YOU.

I know there are people who are praying for us.  There are people we have never met who are praying for us.  And I want to say “THANK YOU”.  The sense of calm we felt after our talk came from those prayers.  The sense of calm we continue to feel comes from these prayers.

This past week, an e-mail from a teacher friend was sent with this video.  I ended up watching it two or three times.  God is powerful.  God is awesome.  And I have to be reminded of this.  I have definitely felt like a fool while on this journey; a fool that continues to hold onto hope month after month.  And I have definitely felt as though God has been mean while he has placed such a deep desire on both of our hearts and hasn’t fulfilled this placed desire.

And then there are amazing friends who truly understand how difficult this weekend can be for couples who are in similar situations.  THANK YOU.  Thank you for thinking of us and thank you for your friendship.  Once I figure out how I can show you how much I appreciate your true acts of kindness, watch out!  🙂

Lastly, to my “mommas”.  Please know that you are being prayed for while you’re on your journey.  This is not an easy journey, but the faith that is being developed is strong.  Continue hoping.  Continue praying.

God loves you.  And His timing is perfect.

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2 responses to “State of the Uterus

  1. God loves YOU, Jill! Also, pretty sure kindness doesn’t need to be repaid. If it did, it would be called “goods and services.” 😉 Thanks again for sharing your heart.

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